22.4.2007

tum de tum.. i`m not in a blogging mood.. yet i need somewhere to express my feelings and my coloured pens ran out of ink so there goes my messy,crazy and ugly scribbles on scrap papers to express myself. so like well yeah.. i guess i`ll try and express it hear in words. pfft. just this morning, on my way to church. i was like planning out how my weeks are gonna be cuz their rather unorganized now..so i was like yeah. okay. after this activity, do yr work then get ready for the next activity and stuff like that. and later on i realised that its NOT going to work because i just know that no matter how much i try..i would be really exhausted and just sleep after one activity.. which makes me come to one question.. should i quit? some of you readers may be asking "quit what?" well anything.. i waas thinking of quitting choir cause that takes most of my time up but then again, the teacher just gave a long lecture on commitment and i really worked hard on the song plus our team already has shortage of people. what more if i drop out? so i guess i CANT quit choir. then theres the dance which i AM willing to quit. but it kinda sucks that i already put loads of effort into it and just quit like that. plus.. i superbly enjoy dancing. its like a period of time where i can just forget my worries and dance. then theres skit.. i`m willing to quit if i may say so myself. but then again.. haih. its as if i might let my friends down if i quit. My moms starting to complain that i have practices all the time and my exams are coming up real soon. OH GOD! HELP ME! and yes.. i actually thought of all this in the car. After thinking for minutes which seemed like hours, I came to a conclusion that I have to trust in God and put him FIRST. in EVERYTHING. As I look on my busy weeks, something just suddenly smacked me in my head and said. Did you ever realise that you havent been putting God first and have you ever started to think that you have NOT been spending time with your Father in Heaven? You can say I`m being crazy or whatever. But you people who aren`t christians may not understand me but well.. like is aid earlier.. I need a place to express myself. So I just kept thinking about that till i reached church and it so happened that during CG, darling LeeChing was telling us about what she read in her devotion over the week. and how we, teenagers always expect something from God but never did we think about giving back to him. and she just suddenly quote. In life you have to put God first. It can be hard for me as well but you have to strife to put God first in EVERYTHING. Trust me, I was like.. WHOAAAA.. thats just what i thought in the car. Amazing isnt it? Its wonderful how God can work through peoples lives dunt`cha think? for those of you who are just like me, See my links? THINKTANK MAG? its my churchs on9 mag. its really good. well at least I think so.. do go there if ya`ll are free k. Well. that was ME. I`ve expressed myself and now I`m out!<33